I used to love school. I used to skip there every morning after breakfast. I used to run as fast as I could to get to my classroom (except when an adult was in the hall – then I walked as fast as I could).
I used to wait outside the classroom reading a book or finishing homework. When the teacher opened the door, he used to have a big smile on his face, brighter than the sun. He used to say, “Come in and let’s learn together today!” I used to smile back and say, “Good morning!” knowing I was going to have a wonderful day with my wonderful teacher in my wonderful class at my wonderful school.
I don’t love school anymore. I don’t think I even like it anymore, to tell the truth. I don’t skip there anymore (but sometimes I think of skipping it altogether). I don’t run to my room (but sometimes I want to run away).
The teacher isn’t happy anymore. He doesn’t say, “Let’s learn together” very much. He only says, “We have an article to read. Let’s get moving.” Most of us wish we could move. Far, far away.
Everyday, we read, but not from books. Sometimes they’re called articles. Sometimes they’re called passages. Sometimes they’re called stories. I still don’t know why the teacher calls them different things. Maybe in the morning they’re one thing and in the afternoon they’re something else. We read them, whatever they’re called, and they’re very hard! I keep asking the teacher to let us read books, but he says there is no time.
Sometimes after we read, we have to write a little bit. That’s not so bad. I just write whatever I think I’m supposed to write. I always show it to my teacher because I never know if it’s right, and I want to make sure I am putting what he wants to see.
Sometimes we answer questions with an A, B, C, or D. A is the first letter in my name so I usually pick A for most answers. Bubbling is actually kind of fun, though. One time, we took a practice test and when I bubbled in the answers, I made a pattern. It looked like a staircase on the scantron!
Sometimes, when I’m reading a story, article, or passage, I start staring at something in the room and I forget to stop. Then the teacher is tapping on my desk and saying my name. I say, “Sorry,” but as soon as he walks away, I’m staring at something else. Then he starts getting upset and I just keep staring at that something else. When I remember I’m in school, I just pick an answer and then find something else to stare at. This happens everyday for like, 2 hours, I think.
It’s not so bad. I don’t have to think and I like that because thinking makes my head hurt. Anyway, I don’t think I’m supposed to know what to do because the words in these passage article stories are really big. So I’m really not sure why we’re using them but it must be because the teacher is so unhappy that he wants to punish us for it.
A lot of the kids try to get the answers right. They want the teacher to be proud of them. I see those kids looking back in the passage article stories to find answers, but I know them all, so I never look back. When the teacher says I should look in the passage article stories, I say, “But I know it!” and he says, “They don’t want to know what you already know. They want to see if you can read the passage” and I say, “BUT I KNOW IT!” By now, I’m getting really mad so I start to slam my pencil down, and I stand up to walk around the room. It is weird, though. Every time I think I do know it, I get the answer wrong. But still, I’m not going to look back in the passage article story. It’s so boring. I’ll just pick an answer. Maybe I’ll get it right and maybe I’ll get it wrong.
At the end of the day, I am happy to have the fresh air on my face after being trapped in passage article stories all day. I say, “Bye” to the teacher and go home, where I pick answers by myself. When my mom asks me if I’m going to read books tonight, I tell her, “There is no time.” She says, “Okay. Do what the teacher says. You have to do well on the test.”
When I go to sleep I see grey bubbles in my head. When I dream, I see a passage article story opening it’s mouth and swallowing me. When it closes its mouth, I know there is no way to escape, so I wake up screaming, terrified that when the test comes, it too will swallow me whole.